You know that you talk to yourself for the whole day. It is absolute not the mental chatter about activities and chores that you are supposed to remember all day long. That is also a form of self-talk, but I am talking more to the things you say to yourself on a regular basis; and more prominently, the way in which you say them.
When you make a mistake, do you berate yourself with vengence? Do you put yourself down or call yourself derogatory names? When you have tired of making those good and positive changes in your life, do you bemoan that what a “worthless” person you are and conclude that you’ll never be able to do anything right?
Negative self-talk can be adversly harm to your self-esteem, especially if it is a big part of your daily life. When you keep saying things like that to yourself, eventually your mind and body will start to accept and believe them!
Most often these messages and sayings begin as statements uttered by the adults in your childhood. They may have said something negative about you when your actions might have displeased them, or perhaps they had a habit of saying unkind things even when you are not supposed to deserve it. As painful as these experiences can be, it become even worse when you grasp those things where they left off and keep repeating the same negative messages to yourself again and again!
The interesting news is that you can change your self talk any time you needs. You just have to know how to become aware of the tone of your messages and consciously replace them with more encouraging and motivating ones.
Try these simple steps for starters:
1)Develop awareness of your self-talk, know more about your self-talk. It may consume time and need practice, but if you keep “listening” in to your inner voice, you’ll begin to notice when you talk negatively to yourself.
2)Challenge the negative messages. When you notice yourself saying something negative such as, “You’re such a screw-up, you can’t do anything right” – stop yourself and challenge that belief. Is that really true? Maybe you mess up sometimes, but do you ALWAYS mess up? Probably you might not.
3)Replace the negative talks with positive messages. When you realize you’re saying unkind and untrue things to yourself, simply reverse it in your mind. Using the above example, you might say, “Wow, that’s not true at all! I do plenty of things right. It’s true I make mistakes, but so does everyone. I’m a good person and I try my best. That is the best option for.” etc
As the time goes by your efforts will pay off in the form of stronger self-esteem and respect for yourself and your capabilities. It probably won’t happen within a span of hours, but the more you work at turning your self-talk in a more positive direction, the better you’ll feel and get positive results in your life.